


Clint and Alfie's Adventures

by Nonbinary_Queen



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Background Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff, Fraction's Hakweye and MCU fusion, Human Disaster Clint Barton, M/M, Mutual Pinning, Non-Binary Bruce Banner, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, background Bruce Banner/Thor/Jane Foster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 13:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15220229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbinary_Queen/pseuds/Nonbinary_Queen
Summary: Clint didn't expected  to get a baby dropped by out of his door, and he also didn't expected that his new baby would be the push for him to talk to his hot new neighbor who apparently new how to take care of babiesBucky just wanted to live a calm life in Brooklyn, he should had guess that his neighbor who was constantly getting hurt wouldn't allowed, besides when he saw Alfie for the first time he was a goner.





	Clint and Alfie's Adventures

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entrance for the winterhawk big bang 2018, the art was made by the amazing @esaael in tumblr.  
> Thanks to Foolish for doing the first check of the begging, and to the Voltron Duality server for yelling me to write, and to Em for editing this so my sleep deprived writing makes sense  
> Enjoy!

  
  


* * *

 

 

The amount of time Clint uses “help, I fucked up” to contact his friends in a given month is highly worrying. If you think about how many messages he sends like that weekly, it’s even more worrying. But for the first time in ages it is serious, or as serious as it can get in Clint Barton’s life.

“Nat, thank god you answered me,” he whispers at the phone,. “I have a huge problem, well not that huge in actual size, but huge in my life.”

Nat scoffs on the other end.

_ “Falling in front of your ridiculous hot new neighbor is not a huge problem. _ ”

“No, nothing like that. I got a delivery to my house today. A tiny human and a birth certificate. With my name on it.” 

_ “I’m on my way; do not move.” _

Clint sinks into his ratty couch looking hopelessly at the tiny creature. It isn’t making any noise, just looking at him with those big eyes. The blond baby has his eyes and they are full of expectations… It makes him feel weird.

If he is actually the dad then his whole life will be changing; one human life he has to protect, one little human to look up at to him, and he will have to get his shit together. It’s barely a wish now; he had wanted to have kids when he was younger, but when it didn’t work out with Bobby, he just gave up and never thought about it again.

But looking at this tiny copy of him is very overwhelming and he isn’t sure if this is actually his kid but the love he feels… is Immeasurable.

After waiting for what feels like eternity (but was probably like 15 minutes) Natasha arrives, with a sleepy Bruce Banner in tow.

She looks at the carrier that has the baby and mutters under her breath, “I guess I shouldn’t have woken up Bruce after all.”

“Why would you say that?” murmurs Bruce while trying to fix their glasses. They rub their eyes and look at the baby. “Nat you are right. Now if you’ll excuse me Clint, I’m going to crash on your couch for a bit.”

Clint looks unfazed by what they say and just hands them a blanket from his side of the couch. “He is absolutely your baby Clint,” he hears from the red-head while she looks up from the birth certificate. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure Nat, I probably need a DNA test to be sure,” Clint answers on reflex, with a squint at the certificate.

“Clint, he is a carbon copy of you.” And that is when it hits him; the thing his brain has been trying to ignore for the last half an hour: He is a father now, and he must do everything  in his power for this baby,  _ His  _ baby.

 

* * *

After Bruce and Nat leave, (not before helping him order some essentials online, like a crib, clothes, diapers and other baby stuff) he checks the time at  5 pm, hoping the baby would sleep a little more so he could ask to google how to handle a baby.

He also thinks about possible names; something that would go well with Barton and that the two-week old child  (he checked) would hopefully react to, but if his research was good that wouldn’t happen until he was 7 months old.

As if aware he’s thinking about him, the baby wakes up crying. He makes sure to do as he was told. Taking care of his tiny head, he checks the diaper and is relieved by the fact that he doesn’t need to change it yet. But the crying probably means he is hungry. In the bag that was with the baby, there had been a bottle with some baby formula inside and the name of the brand on a little paper besides it. He warms up some water in a kettle and cradles the baby around trying to calm him down.

“Hey baby, what do you wanna be named?” He looks kind of content despite the traces of tears down his cheeks. “You look like an Alfred. Alfred Brian Barton, but I’ll call you Alfie while you are still young.” 

He caresses Alfie’s face, cleaning away the tear tracks and bopping his nose at which he looks startled. “Apparently you are too young to see defined pictures, but we’ll get there.” 

He hears a knock in the door just as the kettle finishes. “Clint open up, Lucky is tired and needs a nap!” 

Clint turns off the stove, pours some of the water in the bottle, and goes to the door with one arm holding Alfie and the other shaking the bottle.

“Wait a minute Katie.”

“I told you don’t call me Katie!”

He opens the door after a bit of struggle and Kate looks up from her phone. “Finally Luck-“ she cuts off in surprise, “IS THAT A BABY?!”

“Don’t yell. He has sensitive ears. C’mon get in; it’s cold outside.” Clint lets Kate and Lucky in.

“Clint Francis Barton, why are you holding a baby?” asks Kate while directing Lucky to the couch so she could take his leash off. The dog sniffs the baby carrier Alfie was sleeping earlier and decides it’s good to rest.

“Hey Kate check if the temperature is good in your inner wrist,” he says, handing her the bottle. He sits on the couch, holding the baby between his arms in a relaxed way, to give Lucky a chance of meeting him on his own terms. Kate hands the bottle back and he gives it to Alfie who starts to drink it very quickly.

“Katie-Kate I present to you Alfred Brian Barton, but you should call him Alfie because he is two-week-old baby.” Kate blinks her surprise away, by starting to coo at the baby. 

“I would ask to be the godmother but I’m too young for this kind of responsibility.” Lucky moves a bit and gets closer to Alfie, sniffing his head and licking his forehead in approval.

“Bring the laptop closer I need to google if is bad that my dog just licked my two-week old baby.”

Kate rolls her eyes, but does as she is told. She starts typing in: “What to do when you friend is being incredibly  protective of his two-week-old baby he got a few hours ago, because when I had come in to pick up his dog in the morning he wasn’t here?”

Clint rolls his eyes, and puts Alfie in burping position as the YouTube video had shown him. 

“There, there Alfie, burp for daddy.”

Alfie burps and Clint bumps his fist in the air, Kate gets up. “I for sure can’t stay to watch this, I’m gonna go now.” She signals to the door and starts moving in that direction.

“Wait! Can you do me a favor?” 

She looks bored but accepts anyway.

“If you could go buy the (brand) of baby formula please, I can’t exactly leave the apartment with him right now. It’s recommended to stay the first 6 weeks at home, and his mother already left him outside my door for who knows how long…”

“Okay, I’ll get it, but you know you could get your groceries delivered right?” 

“I’m an old man Kate, I don’t know the stuff you young people do,” he deadpans, and she snickers.

“I’ll get your groceries. I’ll be back in a few.”

* * *

One hour later, Kate is back with some stuff from the store. She puts everything by the counter and leaves without making a sound so as to not disturb the Bartons sleeping. On her way out, she bumps into Clint’s hot new neighbor. She had heard about him, but he gives her a homeless modern Jesus feel. She could see the hot part, but not her type, too old.

Still she can see that Clint isn’t going to make a move anytime soon - less now that he has a baby to take of - and there is no way of meddling because neither she nor Clint knew his name. Problem for future Kate anyway.

.

.

.

Bucky feels how the girl is watching him. This is the third time this week he has seen her leaving that apartment; this time later than usual though. Usually by 5pm she is gone. It’s not that he’s keeping tabs on this neighbor’s life especially, he’s just keeping tabs on all his neighbors. After the trial, being recognized as  _ the  _ Bucky Barnes had become something usual in his daily life. However, neither of his neighbors has ever said anything, showing that just as Natalia had said: everyone deals with their own life.

But this guy, there’s something that makes him want to talk to him, saying hi every time he sees him, purple clothes, Band-Aids all over his face and arms (and maybe in other places too), he’s just a mystery he wants to solve, and badly.

Hell, maybe Steve is right, and he just needs to get laid.

* * *

When Clint wakes up because the weight in his chest starts to move, he checks the time in his phone. “Aww time, no! I’m never getting a full night of sleep ever again!” He leaves Alfie in the carrier so he can check the groceries bags on the counter with a little note from Kate. ‘You and baby were asleep. I gave Lucky dog food and left him water. I also left the amazon stuff I’m guessing Nat ordered for you on the couch. I hope you survive – Better Hawkeye’

He starts the kettle once again and the coffee pot. He looks through the bags until he finds  the formula. He also thanks Kate for thinking of and buying newborn diapers. He checked earlier, and Alfie had already dropped his umbilical cord, so after buying more stuff he can wash him up and hopefully give him his first bath ever

“Hey Buddy, I smell something funky coming from your diaper.” Alfie just whimpers and starts getting a little teary eyed, so he prepares himself for the first time doing it alone. “Here we go.”

He gently starts to undress him, lifting the butt and preparing himself for the shit show (pun intended).

He unwraps the diaper and is not as bad he thought it would be, still a lot of shit for such a tiny body. He goes around quickly as Bruce and Nat had explained earlier, so he doesn’t have time to pee him in the face.

He dresses him up once again, goes to check the water for the new bottle, and chugs down most of the coffee pot. Everything looks fine and Alfie drinks it vigorously once again.

He starts to move the boxes and looks for the lighter ones first. Hopefully there he can find a set of pajamas to change his son into. After that, he can open the big box of what is hopefully the crib and see if it fits in his room.

As he moves upstairs with the carrier in one of his hands and Lucky trailing him behind him, he notices that he might need to baby proof his room because he has various arrows laying around and that is just plain dangerous. Leaving the carrier in the bed he runs downstairs to pick up the big box and starts the assembling process.

After a good half an hour, he has a decent crib set up with a Mobile and all, and the baby is happily sleeping there. Now he just needs to check out the rest of the boxes, so he can go to sleep; though, who knows how much he’ll get.

* * *

The next three weeks were as peaceful as they could be with a baby, a dog, and a deaf father. Clint would never admit that he has been catching less sleep with time or that his ears are in constant pain.

That’s why when Alfie starts crying without any explanation he loses it. The first afternoon, he cradles him, and rubs his belly, but it won’t stop. He had heard from other tenants about how sometimes kids gets colic, which are gases they get when they take in air with their bottles.

And how it doesn’t have a “cure.” 

After three days of crying, he gets someone knocking in his door.

“Nat is that you? Please be you.” Clint opens the door, looking like the death. He clearly had seen better days. His eyes are all red and he’s handling the wailing baby poorly, not at all prepared to see beauty in front of his door.

“Hi, I heard the crying and I was wondering if you needed help?” Clint was stunned and apparently so was Alfie; he stopped crying just to see who was at the door.   
  
Someone clearly had been listening to his cries for help, because even though he isn’t at his best, he gets the very nice presence at his door offering help with his 5 week old baby. “You are literally the best thing ever. I’m hoping Alfie’s cries didn’t wake you up or something, and you aren’t here out of pure guilt.” He lets him come inside. “Because that would suck so much, I’m really sorry if we were bothering you. I’m alone and deaf and he is in pain and I’m about to collapse.”

The neighbor takes appreciative look at the mess that is the living room, wolf whistles and offers his hand to shake. “I’m James. I live next door.”   
  
“Clint Barton. This little baby is Alfie and the dog that is probably under one of those piles of stuff is Lucky.” Clint shakes his hand and gets a weird texture that he has no time to think about. He puts Alfie in the stroller he has beside the door and starts swinging slowly, hoping the baby will fall asleep.   
  
“What do you need me to help you with?” James asks from the kitchen counter. Clint hadn’t even noticed that he had moved. And his best friend is Black Widow. It’s really hard to sneak up on him, dead tired or not.

“I kind of feel like an asshole for asking this, but could you help with Alfie’s laundry? Those piles of clothing are all his and I’m long overdue cleaning it up, but I’ve barely had time to do anything with his colic hitting so strongly. Lucky’s sitter and walker was going to help me but she had to fly to LA on an emergency and my best friend is some place I don’t know as per usual.” Clint scratched his head and stiffed a yawn. “Sorry, I haven’t been sleeping well.”    
  
“You said you’re deaf, right?” questions James, looking at him in interest. “I know some basic sign if you want to take off your aids.” 

Where did this man come from? Where had he been all of these days? It was probably the sleep deprivation talking, but he could kiss him right here, right now.

“Marry me,” his dumb mouth says while James looks startled. “Shit, sorry I didn’t meant that, I’m just very tired and I have 0 filter right now”   
  
The brunet smirks. “You should take me to dinner first, I’m not an easy fella.” He ends with a laugh, which is the best laugh Clint has ever heard in his life. He is clearly screwed, no coming back.   
  
James lets it pass and starts helping him pick up the clothes that are thrown around the room. “I would have never thought something that tiny would use so many clothes.”

“You should see the amount of diapers he goes through daily. Really puts in perspective how human bodies work.” He chuckles and with James’s help it’s way easier to pile it into dirty and clean clothes. James takes the dirty pile to the laundry room in the basement of the building and Clint takes the clean ones to Alfie’s part of the closet upstairs. 

After a few hours, James comes back with clean clothes. “I can’t seriously thank you enough for this.”   
  
“It’s okay. I could have been doing boring stuff all afternoon and there is nothing more relaxing than the washing machine.”   
  
“Are you serious?”   
  
“Not at all, but hey, it looks your kid calmed down” James points to the stroller in a relaxed way while with his other hand he folds a tiny pair of pants.   
  
“I hope so, he hasn’t cried all afternoon, so hopefully it means his colic is over and gone.”   
  
James smiles. “I doubt that an afternoon with me is that magical.” Clint drops the shirt and looks startled. 

“How can you be that smooth?” he spurts. “Like seriously we need to become best friends this exact second.” James raises an eyebrow in a ‘what has gotten into you’ look that kind of reminds him of Nat.

“Natural Charm. Not everyone can have it, just some people can be charming.” Clint sees that small smirk and starts dying inside. 

“Oh I’ll show you charming James! I’ll knock your socks off! After I get some sleep first though.” He yawns. “I’m not in my fully charming capacities.” 

They continue to fold clothing and when they finish James leaves just as Alfie wakes up hungry from his nap. “I’ll get out of your hair. Good luck, Barton.” Clint waves goodbye as he walks to the kitchen to prepare the baby’s milk. He hadn’t realized how fast the time had passed. Maybe James was right after all and afternoon with him was indeed magical.

* * *

“Has anyone seen Clint lately?” Tony asks Bruce, who was preparing breakfast for Jane and Thor, who apparently were still asleep.  
“Last week he called me because Alfie had colic. I don’t know who was more desperate him or the baby.”  
“Who gave Barton a baby?” Steve walks in just as he finishes a water bottle and leaves it on the counter.  
“Nat sent me some pictures of when she went to check on Clint yesterday. He is really sticking to what he read online about how it’s ideal to not to leave the house until the baby’s 6 weeks old.”  
“Oh, he sent me a pic of a quiz he took online to know how ready you are to deal with a newborn,” explains Bruce, as Thor and Jane walk in. They both kiss their cheeks and they blush like always.  
“You are talking about the little Barton? He is a very cute baby indeed, and Natasha makes sure he knows it.” As if Thor had summoned her in the elevator, Nat shows up with Clint trailing her, and there in Clint’s hand is a stroller handle.  
Tony just says softly, “Holy shit Clint has a baby.” Nat gives him a dirty look. “How was I the only one who didn’t know Clint had a baby? Why did nobody tell me? When did this happen?”  
“Sir, Agent Barton texted you to inform you about his baby three weeks ago, when you were making the modifications to Captain Rogers’ suit.”  
Tony remembers vaguely reading said text, but not giving it too much attention.  
“So I guess I just didn’t remember,” he says and makes a note to get the baby a gift so he can become the cool Uncle Tony.  
“Avengers and Jane, I present to you: Alfred Brian Barton. If you want to hold him, you have to wash your hands with the hypoallergenic liquid soap I brought.” Clint picks Alfie up from the carrier and everyone can see the baby has on a Hawkeye onesie. Steve is the first one to wash his hands, but Clint doesn’t let him hold the baby. “You’re all sweaty. Take a shower first.”  
Tony snickers into his coffee cup as Jane picks Alfie up and coos at him. “His eyes are beautiful!”  
“Well thank you for noticing Jane! It took you sometime, but you finally realized how beautiful I am!” Nat punches Clint in the shoulders as she directs him to the couch  
“Take a nap you dummy. I’ll take care of Alfie.”  
“His bottle—”  
“Has the formula in it. I know. Take off the aids too. I know your ears have been hurting. I’ll wake you up if it’s really needed”  
“Thanks Nat, you are a true friend.” After she makes sure Clint is truly asleep, she drops a blanket over his body and goes back to the kitchen where everyone is completely wrapped around Alfie’s little fingers.  
“Clint hasn’t been sleeping so well in the last few weeks. He has to keep the aids on all day so he can hear Alfie and only takes them off when I go to visit him or in the last week when his neighbor helps him out.”  
Thor is the one currently holding the baby, who looks completely focused on Thor’s long hair, and is tugging it a little hard, even by the Asgardian’s standards.  
“This one is going to be a great warrior! He has great strength in his tiny fists!” He hands the baby back to Natasha, who gently takes the hair out of his hand. As he giggles, she takes him back to the carrier.  
“So, as I was saying it’s for the best if we let him nap. He needs to rest.”  
Tony gets the glow in his eyes that means he has an idea, which is always dangerous. “I’m going to be down in the shop. Tell Steve that sleep is for the weak and a genius like me doesn’t need it.” And just like that Tony vanished downstairs. When Steve came back clean he just sighed when he noticed he was gone.  
“Why do I even bother?” he washes his hands under Natasha’s attentive sight and goes to hold the baby.  
“Hello Alfie. I’m Uncle Steve,” said Steve in an obnoxious baby voice that had Nat snickering as she prepared the bottle.  
“Well Uncle Steve, if you are so happy to hold the baby, then maybe you should feed him and change his diaper later.”  
“Aunt Nat is a big meanie, isn’t she?” Alfie gets his bottle and sighs happily while drinking.  
“Don’t forget to burp him afterwards, Steve” adds Bruce from their seat between Jane and Thor. “Tony didn’t have breakfast before leaving. I’ll leave you a plate, so you can take him something to eat. And don’t worry I’ll make Thor change Alfie’s diaper.”  
“But before you go wrangle your boy, when is Sam coming back from DC?” ask Nat innocently.

“Nat, I’m sure you know that better than I do,” answers Steve in a deadpan while he gently burps the baby, that looks ever smaller against his gigantic frame.

And that’s how they spent the rest of the day, with Clint freely napping on the couch to his heart’s content while the rest took care Alfie. Not that everything went smoothly. It really hadn’t been a good idea to let Thor change Alfie’s diaper. He made a huge mess that no one is going to ever mention to Clint. Not that he would probably notice that someone changed his baby’s clothes. (He did notice, but thought it was better letting it go.)

When Tony shows up again just before Clint is leaving, he indeed has a present.

“Okay so, I heard what Nat said about your ears and I was wondering if you might want to try some hearing implants I might have created like 4 hours ago.” Clint looks at him, surprised, and lets him continue, “They work exactly like the ones you have now, with the only difference being you would need to have a small surgery to get in the middle ear, and you would have an app to turn them off or control volume and shit.”  
“That sounds like a dream, if I take this does this means I’m your guinea pig?” He smirks.

“I just made you some hearing implants-out of the goodness of my heart might I add-and you are asking if you are my guinea pig?” responds Tony in his special “I’m Tony Stark and I’m Awesome” voice.

“Awwww so you do care!” yells Clint before taking Alfie closer to Tony. “Look at Uncle Tony helping us baby.” The baby only blinks while yawning slightly, but Tony smiles softly to himself, not that Clint misses it or Steve, but Tony doesn’t notice, because when he gets focused on something he misses the rest of the world until he is done.

At the end Clint realizes that they aren’t only teammates, they are indeed like a family.

 


End file.
